So here goes another post about my journey. Two days in a row…I think I am on a roll here. Let’s hope it lasts! So yesterday I posted about several things. The loss of my marriage to my husband and the loss of a new Master who had taken me on. Those were the two most important things that happened. Well, now there is something new.
After begging, pleading, and crying all night with friends trying to cheer me up and only getting about 45 minutes of sleep he took me back. Yes, I am on thin ice. Yes, I still take the risk of him releasing me permanently. It’s so weird how one person can have such control over your entire person, down to your soul, when you haven’t even met them face to face. I know I have seen so many of my friends in the same types of relationships and I have seen some fail but I have seen so many turn successful. So is there hope for me? Who knows, but maybe with some guidance from others who I love and trust and Master, I will learn and not mess up again. See where this goes…
I am His. I knelt on my knees and gave Him all of me. Not just a stupid little avatar in SecondLife, but me, the person, the human, the little slut who wants nothing more than to do all the things her Master demands. Oh and does he demand so deliciously. -swoons- Once he accepted me back as his, we got to have a little fun. Yeah it’s all by cam…for now…but I won’t complain. I share with him more than I would have shared with anyone. I trust him so completely. It scares me but at the same time…if I don’t trust then how will I ever be what I am meant to be? So, aside from a few laughing moments (more than a few but I won’t go into those) and a few orgasms (omg…how does he make me do that?) we are finally back to where we were before I made a stupid mistake. I missed hearing him laugh…I missed hearing him cum for me. God…if only I could listen to h is voice 24/7…I think I would never get anything done. SO maybe it’s a good thing I can’t!
I have to say that if it weren’t for a few people in my life I wouldn’t have made it through last night with even half a smile on my face. Dani for being my ever present best friend and rock. Thanks for making me drink…even though I hated it. LOL Sof, thank you for sitting with me while I cried in your ear. I know it wasn’t pleasant. I am thankful to have you as a friend. TheGoodGuy…you’re just that…a good guy. I am so thankful for your wisdom and friendship. I will never be able to put into words just how much it means to me to have you talk reason into me when I am down on myself. Mom…you are a role model to me. I am so thankful I have you to go to when I have questions or misgivings. You have been and always will be my voice of reason and someone I know will have my back 100% even if you’re simply telling me I fucked up and to fix it, I love you. Dad…oh papa I love you so much. I am thankful to have you as someone to help guide me and help teach me when I need it. I am also thankful for your caring and loving nature as if I were your own daughter. So many more people to thank but just know I love you all and I look forward to going on this journey with me!