This blog was started yesterday morning on a much different topic and as I sit here this afternoon I have begun to think that I should change it, there for I am. What it would have been was about some of the pictures I have used and why, but I decided that I like the pictures I use. Some are more risky than others for the common person, but my blog isn’t FOR the common person. PLUS, it is my blog…yes I am honored to have so many views and so many followers, but this blog is for me…and so because of that, the pictures I post will be based off what I want them to be.
I have not written in a few days as my mind has been in a whirlwind just like my time. Between finishing up my last set of college courses and starting new ones, then work which has been horrible because I have had to work nights, and the random just feeling “off” that has plagued me. I know it is not depression because I truly feel happy and satisfied, I think it is merely the disruption and change of my normal routine that I had gotten used too, when working days.
Plus, trying to find time to keep my relationship with Master, and my chores completed properly, while also having to spend time with the girls in world…needless to say I feel very………smothered. It isn’t that anyone is actually smothering me, but the fact that sometimes I just want to be alone. I have said on numerous times I am probably the only person who logs in to SL to be alone. It doesn’t make any sense, but sometimes I just want peace and quiet. Sometimes I enjoy talking to people, other people, but sometimes I just need to be alone. Most of the time I am not to bad and just distracted with something I am watching, or I am playing around in Photoshop, or I am off screen actually doing school work, which is most recent.
I don’t know maybe I am just pulling in to my introverted self again and just enjoy being quiet. Why do people feel the need to have to talk all the time? When in RL people are not talking 24/7 while still being around each other. Sometimes it is good to just…be. I worry about when I pull into myself because it does cause those around me to feel neglected and left out. I don’t like making people feel that way, but how else is it supposed to be when my personality is the way it is. Also, there is only so much a person can talk about before there just isn’t anything left.
Ugh, I feel so selfish right now! I need to focus on school, on work, on things that I enjoy doing (and making L so I can buy more haaaaaaaaaaaair!), and serving my Master with all of my being. That is something that I have been lacking in as well, serving my Master. I guess because of all the things I have had to focus on I forgot where my heart is because my brain is having to do all the work. Does that even make sense? I don’t even know how to make sense right now my brain is so fried.
I wish that we got a break, even one week break in school…a week to recoup from the crunch of finals before starting a new week of classes. I am so tired…