Has it Been that Long?


National geographic.

It seems that my time is becoming more and more limited which is frustrating me to no end. I miss being able to sit down and write my blog. With school, work, and family my time to do something for me is growing less and less. I have to figure out a way to make this blog a part of my life like I want it to be. So many times Master says “Do it in the morning” but then the morning gets here and I tend to run out of time after doing school work, before actual work. Why it is when I am so diligent about making the girls do their blogs on a nightly basis, am I then so lax in getting my own blog done? It bothers me, truly. I find it very unfair to them that I don’t hold myself to the same standard and for that girls, I am sorry. I may not write my blogs at night anymore, but move them to this early morning posting hour that seems to be the most productive time of my day. Before school work, before facebook, before SecondLife©, and before facing the day…I shall write my blog.

As far as how things are going I find myself in a whirlwind of conundrums. Currently Master has a hand full and my own is filling quickly. Our chain, which of course starts with me, next there is lina, then has another girl (who has no name right now due to punishment), we also have her (who is under a learning collar), then we have a few others who have shown interest in being in the chain. How many are too many when they are not living with you in RL? Some are just wanting RL direction along with SecondLife© RP while others want SecondLife© RP only. Is it wrong to deny a girl RL direction when they have no intention of coming into our RL home as a sister? See…conundrum.

Well aside from the forever issue of money between couples, my relationship with Master is still amazing. Just the other evening we were talking about the “perfect” one and how no one is ever perfect but I made the statement of how Master is perfect FOR ME. Does that mean he is perfect to her, her or her? No, but it means he is perfect for ME and that is all I can ask for. Do we still have some issues that need to be worked at? Of course, but what relationship stops growing? As people grow older and move along in their lives they change and when in a relationship, the relationship changes with it. Just as our relationship was started on the basis of being friends with benefits (LOL), to dating, to living together, then marriage, and well here we are as husband and wife but so much more because I have submitted so much of myself to the care and guidance of my Master.

Now on to a different subject but one that still is about Master and I. How rough is to rough? I am finding myself craving more…more of what I am not sure exactly, but I know it is more. I want to feel more sting…more pain. Since moving in to our current living arrangements my vitamins have grown to be few and far between, which is hard for me. I miss the delicious sound of Masters hand as it smacks against the bare flesh of my ass…*sighs* With my growing desire for more pain I am wondering if we can find something that isn’t so…noisy? If any of my readers have some ideas then I am open to any suggestions…I have a few of my own and will be looking into them.

Not only is my desire for pain growing, but my desire to cum as well. I know, I have spoken about this lately, but it hasn’t changed. I am trying to remind myself that it isn’t about me and my desires and is more about the desires of my Master. I don’t mean desires as in his sexual desires, but his desires to let me have pleasure as well. Recently he posted on Fetlife© in a group looking for a woman, a sub/slave, for me to be with. I am very happy about that, but it is hard to find that kind of thing without going out there and finding someone ourselves. I am not excited about that…at all. I am not what I used to be…24 and hot, now I am 33 and overweight. So finding the girl that I desire may not be as easy as it is for some, but maybe someday I will have it. If that means waiting for the one who has no name, then so be it, but damn it. I really am craving my body between the soft thighs of a woman with my tongue and fingers exploring her soft wet petals until her cum coats my mouth and her moans of pleasure fill my ears. *shivers*

Pleasure is something that I have not only wanted to give but to receive as well. Sleeping in two separate beds is driving me crazy. I know that it is because of space, but I really miss going to sleep with Master behind me, holding me, and the warmth of his body. He suggested we go and get our own bed, but I said no…with reluctance. I said we can wait… Why did I say that? Not only does it hinder our sleeping arrangements but it has hindered my ability to just roll over and take Masters cock into my mouth as I so desire…waking him with delicious pleasure. Our beds are pushed together, but the mattresses are different and it isn’t so easy for me to get to him. All I can do is wait for Master to come to me…like he does. Taking me in the mornings like he enjoys to do…he seems to have become a morning man. *grins* How he pushes me onto my stomach and pushes his cock into my pussy filling it and satisfying his need.

Mmm my pussy just got wet thinking about his cock inside of me…how delicious it is. Something that Master and I have discussed is about getting some rope and tying my legs back, putting my knees close to my ears, and exposing my pussy to him so that he can do what he wishes with it. *shivers* Is that not completely delicious? So, ummm, Master? When can we do it!? *grins big* We haven’t done much in the actual bondage side of things, but it is something I am interested in along with the delicious pain that I am finding I am wanting even more. How will it be when we do both at the same time? Will I be frightened? Is that what is so exciting about it? I have so many questions that I don’t know if I will ever have the answers until I actually do it. MMmmm Do It…PLEASE Master just DO IT!

*sighs heavily*

Well, I must begin on my next task for today and get my mind out of the ever delicious side of the gutter than I tend to play in.

4ever yours,

Submissive Scar

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