I was asked if I was going to post a blog last night and I said no, only because as my Master will not punish in anger…I shall not blog in anger. Sounds silly huh? Well it may, but it is how I do things therefor it is how it will be done.
There are few things that bother me about society today and those very things have been brought up in a few of the college courses I have been taking. Racism/Prejudice in Cultural Diversity and Religion/The Bible in Religions of the World. I had a tough time in Cultural Diversity in keeping my thoughts civil and from attacking the ideas of others, but in RotW it is becoming more difficult and I think it is because I truly am so unhappy with the ignorance of man. It makes me very angry and I am struggling with it in discussions this week as we move on to Christianity, which seems to be the most worthless branch of religion around.
Anyways, my Master stayed home yesterday and I have to say it was really nice having him home, though I hate when he misses work because he didn’t feel well or because he couldn’t sleep. Well this time it was my fault. 😦 I had made some ever so yummy burgers with onion mix and my delicious BBQ sauce mix I make…and because we ate late (due to his working late) he got indigestion and didn’t sleep well. *sad face* I should have known better, if I was a better submissive would I have actually thought about how it would hurt my Masters tummy to eat something that flavorful that late at night? *sighs I feel bad for making it hard for him to sleep and from now on…bland food when we eat past 7pm. *giggles*
Yesterday I got to do a little bit of role-playing in our virtual world with my Master and it was delicious of course! I was so extremely turned on by the rough nature of our virtual world sex that I was turned on all day! It didn’t help that our sexy sookei gave me quite a delicious show before I sent her to bed, then sharing some time with lina…lord you would think I would have raped him when we went to bed last night, but…I wasn’t in a good mood and it didn’t seem like he was either. We had a little tiff before getting in bed and I barely got more than a mumbled “good night” when I said good night to him. I was really sad and due to our sleeping arrangements I can’t just crawl over and curl up behind him anymore. I didn’t sleep worth shit because of it and even still this morning I am just plain SAD! Sad that I love my Master so much that it hurts me when I make him angry, sad that when he is angry he is cold and indifferent to me, sad that all I want and need is a reassuring hug, but I didn’t get one…I got a peck on the cheek and an “I will see you at four” before he got out of the car. I sit here crying as I write this because I just want my Master to hold me and tell me he loves me even when he IS mad at me. I mean just because he is mad doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me right?
On another note, I did another picture while we were arguing…thankfully I am a good at multitasking.