Well today started out as a slightly good day as it was my 33rd birthday. I can’t say it was amazing when I woke up because I had stayed up to late doing school work and reading that I was extremely tired. I took the Master to work (along with the boy) then came home. I looked longingly at our bed, how comfy it was and how the fan was pointed at my sheets making them all cool and ready for me to curl into. Sadly, I turned and went to my computer, waking it up so I could work on my school work. I regret that now, not because I got my work done, but because ever since 8:30 I have been yawning so bad…I can’t believe I am soooo tired already.
I got in our virtual world this afternoon when I got home from work, and instantly drama was in abundance. I cringed but then breathed deeply…I im’ed my amazing mother and told her it was a good day for an Earth day. Time to spend time with my mother, my auntie, and my mothers Master. I have to say that it has been to long since I have spent quality time with my mother and I have missed it so completely. We used to spend so much time together and when Master and I began Gor…well it just kind of stopped. I mean I love being in Gor, but I miss spending time with people that I love, not that I don’t love some of the people we know because of Gor, but I miss my family…the ones I made long before Gor was ever even a thought.
It was nice hearing how wonderful my mother is doing, she finally sounds at peace with her own soul, no longer fighting the battles she has been fighting. No longer is she in such pain because of men who were not weened properly from their mothers teats. I don’t know her Master well enough to form a thorough opinion about him, but to hear what all he has done for my mother is something that I shall forever be grateful for. Finally, she is happy.
She spoke briefly about my journal that I keep here, and how that when you start from the beginning you can see this journey that I have been on. How I have progressed, and with a few minor set backs, I continue to move forward in my submission to my Master. I guess I have never really noticed, maybe it is because I have never gone back and re-read some of the things that I have posted. I know that even kali has gone back and read some of my older posts, but I haven’t. Maybe I should? Will it teach me something about where I am now? Will it show me just how far I have truly come in my submission?
I know I am having issues, being in Gor, that are keeping me from being in the mindset 100% and that is something that I am struggling with daily. I don’t WANT to leave Gor, I love the people we have grown to know so amazingly well, but…I am losing me. I have some decisions to make and I will not make them hastily…I must take the time to make sure I do what is best for me and for my submission.
I am hoping that sleeping in tomorrow will be well worth it…maybe I will be woken up with my next blog topic!