Pre-Commitment Play?


A topic brought into light by Sir Mike, yet another brilliant discussion to be had by many.  Here are my two cents worth…

I think it is funny how we all talk about “play” before commitment, regardless of what the commitment is. I have not been in the situation, in this lifestyle, to make this type of decision, but in regular dating, I have.

Yes, I played before “commitment” and for most of the reasons stated above…

“i think its imperative to play with a potential partner before negotiations of a relationship, how else would you know how the energy between you flows.”

‘Yes playing should be mutually agreed upon and understood clearly that is what it is . some time it helps either party to decide on future long term relationship’

“Having some play time before you start any long term relationship is a must. How else are you going to know if the compatibility is there? “

Amongst many more “reasons” to do so.

What is so funny about all of this, to me, is the fact that back in the “day” this would never even be discussed. How did they do it? How did they fall in love with someone and then trust that the “sexual relations” would be satisfying? I would have to venture in saying that I believe, for the most part, the men were already “playing” with other “women or boys” before the nuptials were ever taken.

Now of course, that goes WAAAAAY back…to before the Americas were ever even “founded”. So yes ladies, men have always had a habit of getting “his” dick wet before actually getting married. Yes, some women were ‘active” as well…but it was much harder for us, as women, to fudge that kind of thing…

-cough-hymen-cough-

This is just proving more and more how times have changed, but is it for the good or for the bad? Like someone above mentioned, things can go seriously wrong.

‘I dont think anything should be done before negotiations. Too many things can go wrong. It is a recipe for disaster…”

This statement is so very true, and no matter what decision you make; to play before or after “commitment” you should always be cautious and remember that you can change your mind at any point if you ever feel uncomfortable.

I have been in that situation before as well. Have met someone online, spoke with them for a while online, then met with them in person, with the intent on being a little naughty, then as soon as I was in their presence I wanted them OUT! Have you ever gotten the feeling of complete ibby geebies when you met someone? -shivers- Yes, I was actually SCARED when I finally met that person face to face. I physically was shaking….very scary for me.

Thankfully, I met my Hus/Dom shortly after and have been blissfully happy ever since. 🙂

In closing, I would suggest to anyone, D or s, to just always use caution and be aware of your feelings and body signals when you meet someone. The only person you can totally trust, in my opinion, is yourself, so trust your instincts.

Thank you Sir Mike for another great topic!

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